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Unbroken, never ending. Circles draw us in, enclose us in warmth and light. But circles also keep us out. Some are on the inside and others are on the outside. Is there a way to have a circle that includes everyone? What would that look like? Does it mean we all have to agree? No, I don't think so. But there has to be mutual respect and understanding. Infighting...it happens too often when people are close...or not...and are working towards the same thing or who like the same thing. People approach things differntly, and what works for someone might appear to be weird or even incorrect to others. But who is to say what circle ~ or what way into the circle ~ is correct. I think about some of my circles of friendship. Some overlap, some don't. And that's ok. Not all of my friends have to be friends with each other. Sometimes circles expand ~ you draw someone into your circle, or are drawn into their circle...and you meet others who may enter the circle both of you have created together...or you may form your own circle with the new person that may have some overlap with the original circle. Like a Venn Diagram.
And yet...to speak of relationships in terms of circles is not necessarily a true analogy. Because a circle is never ending. And relationships are, whether we like it or not, finite. Yes, some go on for a lifetime, but even those are ended by death. But more often than not, the circles end before death parts the individuals. Time, distance, even the influence of others can lead to endings of relationships. All too often the influence of others. I always try to form my own opinons of someone rather than letting others influence my feelings. And sometimes that ends up costing me friendships or puts some friendships on shaky ground. I'm in a situation where this could easily happen right now, because there is someone I've met through one friend, and I have yet to have a bad experience with her... But there ar two other friends who, to hear them tell it, think that she is the devil incarnate. Talking with her, I see her perspective on them ~ and actually it is not that far from what my gut has been feeling about them lately. But then...then again, I have a disturbing tendency to be too trusting, and it's gotten me burned before. In some ways it's getting me burned now. And so much of it boils down to trust.
In Meet the Parents Robert Deniro's character speaks about "the circle of trust" and really, that's what so much in relationships boils down to. Trust. Who do you trust and how? And what happens when the trust is broken. The pair I mentioned earlier...right now I am really struggling with trusting one of them. Because my trust was violated, actually doubly violated because the person who publicly did betray me had to gain access to what he used from someeone else, and when I confronted my friend, the subject of that person was avoided. (Don't worry, I realize that makes no sense to anyone but me probably.) And yet, if I cut this person out of my life, how will that affect my friendship with the other in the pair? Because they are thick as thieves. In all likelihood, it will make me persona non grata to both of them, much like my new friend is.
It's very confusing, and I don't expect any answers. Just me puzzling things out. And writing.
In a way, writing in a circle. I could go round and round about this in my head, and I have. It's a puzzle with no real solution, much as a circle has no ending. Such fun it is to deal with.
And yet...to speak of relationships in terms of circles is not necessarily a true analogy. Because a circle is never ending. And relationships are, whether we like it or not, finite. Yes, some go on for a lifetime, but even those are ended by death. But more often than not, the circles end before death parts the individuals. Time, distance, even the influence of others can lead to endings of relationships. All too often the influence of others. I always try to form my own opinons of someone rather than letting others influence my feelings. And sometimes that ends up costing me friendships or puts some friendships on shaky ground. I'm in a situation where this could easily happen right now, because there is someone I've met through one friend, and I have yet to have a bad experience with her... But there ar two other friends who, to hear them tell it, think that she is the devil incarnate. Talking with her, I see her perspective on them ~ and actually it is not that far from what my gut has been feeling about them lately. But then...then again, I have a disturbing tendency to be too trusting, and it's gotten me burned before. In some ways it's getting me burned now. And so much of it boils down to trust.
In Meet the Parents Robert Deniro's character speaks about "the circle of trust" and really, that's what so much in relationships boils down to. Trust. Who do you trust and how? And what happens when the trust is broken. The pair I mentioned earlier...right now I am really struggling with trusting one of them. Because my trust was violated, actually doubly violated because the person who publicly did betray me had to gain access to what he used from someeone else, and when I confronted my friend, the subject of that person was avoided. (Don't worry, I realize that makes no sense to anyone but me probably.) And yet, if I cut this person out of my life, how will that affect my friendship with the other in the pair? Because they are thick as thieves. In all likelihood, it will make me persona non grata to both of them, much like my new friend is.
It's very confusing, and I don't expect any answers. Just me puzzling things out. And writing.
In a way, writing in a circle. I could go round and round about this in my head, and I have. It's a puzzle with no real solution, much as a circle has no ending. Such fun it is to deal with.
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